Diary of a Pirategrrl

Hey, remember back in the early days of the internet and blogging when we used to do those "All about me" memes in our blogs, and were so proud of our quirky answers?  I am bringing it back.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My first name, no, not that I know of (besides the biblical character whose name I have.) My middle name is some sort of reference to my great-grandmother... I think it was her Hebrew name. I am not sure about that, but maybe my mom can chime in and clarify.  And my last name is my father's last name, as is traditional.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  I can't really remember, which is probably a good sign. I think it was probably a few weeks ago when composing a very heart-felt and emotional email to my best friend. It was good stuff, and I wasn't crying because I was sad, crying is just my physical reaction to any strong emotion.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes. I am inordinately proud of my neat printing, probably because people comment on it all the time. Random strangers, anywhere I have to fill out a form, remark on my handwriting.

4. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No. Not yet.

5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?  Yes, although I might initially be put off by how long it takes me to warm up to new friends. But I would have a lot of interests in common with me, and I would appreciate my easy-going nature and my sense of humor.

6. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I don't think I do... not in the literal sense of saying something that means the opposite.

7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. Possibly because I am just a coward, but possibly just because I don't see the point in doing something terrifying in the name of "fun".

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Probably Wheaties. Although I don't really eat cereal very often.

10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Depends on the shoes, but usually.

( Read more... )

So today was kind of a challenging day at school.  I've had worse, but still. Let me back up by saying that I stayed out way too late last night celebrating a friend's 30th birthday, so I woke up this morning and did not want to go to school.  But I went anyway, because today was aromatherapy class, which I had been looking forward to.  The class was fine, until 15+ people all started opening vials of essential oils and mixing them together, in a room with high ceilings, but no ventilation. The result was a scent so strong it pretty much drove everyone out of the room. When I went in there, it made me feel like coughing, and kind of gave me a headache. So the class became totally derailed, and everyone in the class kind of scattered.

And, while this was happening, and again once we had reconvened in the stinky classroom, the guy in my class who has epilepsy had multiple seizures. This has happened before, he has them fairly often, apparently, and has had them in class before. But it's always a little tense and scary when it happens.

So the whole energy of the class today was just kind of weird.

But then, my big gripe right now is that I had agreed to be a demo-partner for a classmate of mine who needed to re-take a test. Ideally, this would be no big deal, as I just have to pretend to be a client, and lay there while she demonstrates what she is being tested on.  But this particular classmate, K. is... a bit of a challenging personality. She's a recovering addict, and has very, very low self-esteem, and a very negative attitude. So she is constantly putting herself down, calling herself names, and gets very frustrated and overwhelmed by this material. We were partners when we took the test together the first time, and I passed it and she didn't. So I said I would help her out and stay after class with her so she could take it again.

She offered to buy me lunch to thank me, so we went out and had a sandwich, and went over the material she would be tested on. She didn't really seem to have a plan in place, or understand it any better than the first time we took it. I don't think she had studied it any since we did it the first time in April, which made me feel resentful. If I am going to put in my free time to help her, she could at least put in the time to help herself. The test is sort of a role-playing skit type of thing where the person in the role of the therapist is supposed to assess the client, observe the posture, and the come up with a strategy as to which muscles to work on to correct the postural imbalance, or whatever. So, it's not easy. I struggled with it big time the first time I had to do this stuff (you take two similar tests during the course of the program.)

So we went back to the campus, and met up with the teacher that was proctoring the exam. It did not go well. She didn't know what she was doing.  He was giving her way more help than any of us got when we all took the test in class the first time around.  She got me on the table, naked, under the sheet, and then just had no clue what to do. She was about to put massage lotion on me, which is totally not part of this style of work that we were being tested on.  She didn't know if she wanted me on my stomach or on my back.  And I couldn't help her or say anything.

So the whole time, I am trying to be positive and encouraging.  And I was able to sort of keep her mood and her feelings out of mine. But then, as soon as she got me on my stomach, and started massaging my back, I noticed that I was in a shitty, shitty mood. I felt like I wanted to cry.  I felt totally unbalanced and irritated and just like...weird.  And I am convinced that it was her negative energy just like, breaking down my psychic force field.

And then, a minute later, she says "I'll be right back" and leaves.  I am laying face down, with my face in the face cradle, so I can't really see what is going on. A few minutes pass. I lift my head up and look around. A few minutes pass. I don't really know how long she was gone for, but when you are abandoned naked on a table, a few minutes can seem like a long time.  I finally turn over so I am face up, and just lay there waiting. Eventually, she comes back, saying that she felt nauseated.

Needless to say, she did not pass the test this time either.
It just made me so mad and resentful that I spent all that time after school helping her, and I ended up with all this negative energy.  As I wrote on the facebook, I want to take a bath in rock salt and white angelica oil and then smudge myself with a sage bundle or something.  I need to just let it go and move on and not let it just fester in me for the rest of the day.  Any one have any tips on how to do that? How to cleanse one's aura of someone else's bad vibes?

And the thing is, I don't think she's stupid. I think she is capable of learning this stuff. But I think she thinks she's stupid, which kind of makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think she could be more disciplined about studying, and get a tutor. I don't really know what else she has going on in her life, but I know she's single and doesn't have any kids. I don't think she works. So I don't see why she couldn't fit in some studying outside of school.  And she just kept saying "I don't want to do this."  Yeah, no shit, no one wants to do it.  Do you think I want to be here?  Do you think I enjoy spending my afternoon here at school so you can take your test? This is not my idea of fun either you know! Just get over it and do it, and stop complaining about it. These are all things I should have said, but didn't. 

I am sort of ambivalent towards this woman, overall. She's not someone I would particularly want to be friends with, but I don't hate her. Mostly I feel pity for her, because I know what it's like believe yourself worthless.  It sucks. I was lucky that I never got addicted to drugs or alcohol to cope with that. But I am pretty glad I won't have to work with her after I graduate from NHI in a couple weeks.

1.  I am once again house-and-pet-sitting in Kensington.  I freaking love it up here.  It's so quiet, and feels secluded, but urban amenities are a short drive away.  My relatives house is very close to Tilden Park.  There are some lovely views. My cell phone gets spotty reception here, which is kind of a mixed blessing.  If I could afford it, I would totally live here.

( Read more... )

1.  Today, for the first time in my life, I actually bought a computer game.  I have been thinking about buying a computer game for a little while, because I don't watch TV (except for Game of Thrones) but it seems like there are often evenings when I am at home alone, and too tired and/or brain-dead to really do anything productive.  So I was thinking that maybe it would be fun to spend some of that time playing a game. I selected Civilization IV, on the basis that it was made for adults, was sort of quasi-historical, and was not all about killing things. Apparently there is some killing, but it's not like one of those games where the whole thing is you wandering around shooting a gun at things. "First person shooters" I believe they are called. I was not interested in that.  The thing I don't know how to feel about though is that I have this sort of judgment of myself as sinking to a new low of nerdism and not having a life. Of course, I know playing a computer game is a totally normal thing, that many of my friends do. But I have never done it, and previously always considered it kind of a waste of time.  But hell, it's like like facebook is a productive use of my time.  However, I am skeptical about whether I will actually have the attention span to enjoy a game like this. I got bored in the middle of the tutorial that just teaches you how to play the game.  If it's that complicated, I might lose interest.

2. So lately, as I may have mentioned, I have been very into dressing professionally most days for school and my externships. On one hand, it kind of makes me feel confident and classy and adult.  But on the other hand, I feel like I look like a boring yuppy.  I notice this most when I see someone out and about that looks cool and edgy and alternative.  Someone with purple hair or tattoos or who is wearing cool punky clothes. I see them and think "Oh god, I look like a total square. They must think I am so uncool."  I know the attitude I should have is to wear whatever I want and not care what other people think, whether that's the squares judging me for looking like a weirdo when I am wearing my weirdo clothes, or the weirdos judging me for looking like a square when I am wearing my square clothes. I guess maybe it just feels weird because it's been a very long time since I had to wear different costumes for different parts of my life.  It does kind of make me want to dye my hair a funny color though, just so I don't so goddamn normal in my work clothes.

As predicted, the GIOD has become the GIWD.  I basically said "I like you too much to have a casual relationship with you, so if this is all you can do, we should probably stop seeing each other."  And he basically said "Yeah, that's all I can do, sorry."  So that's that. I am kind of butt-hurt, because I liked him and was getting attached to him, but I'll be okay.  What is really bothering me is this sort of big-picture, "Why does this keep happening/Why do I keep doing this?" feeling.  I rarely quote TV shows, especially one as silly as "Scrubs" but there was this one thing someone said on that show that I wrote down, because it was painfully funny and true:  " Show me a well-adjusted, successful man who wants to settle down and have kids, and I'm not interested, but find me an alcoholic in his midthirties that still thinks his band might make it, and just tell me where I can show up and buy him dinner." Or an alcoholic journalist with a trust fund.  Or, you know, a nerdy pot head who thinks his weed farm might make it. Or a guy who is in the middle of a divorce.

So in a blatant effort to give myself a pep talk about how awesome I am, I am going to write my Girlfriend Resume.

• 34 years old
• Single, never married, no children (but likes kids)
• Does not smoke cigarettes
• 420 friendly, but not a habitual drug user
• Moderate drinker, but knows her limits and rarely binges
• Financially stable
• Massage professional
• Lives alone
• No pets, but likes animals
• Clean, but not a clean freak
• Functional family, parents still married
• Lightly tattooed
• Attractive. A solid 7-8.
• Has been to Burning Man, but not evangelical about it
• Intelligent
• Kind-hearted, sweet
• Emotionally mature and sensitive
• Broad range of interests
• Healthy
• Nature-lover and armchair environmentalist
• Well-groomed, but not high-maintenance
• Omnivorous
• Busy with her own life, but has space for a relationship
• Reliable and trust-worthy, not a flake
• Sane
• Very easy-going and low-key
• Dry, witty sense of humor
• Patient
• Independent, not needy
• Confident, good sense of self and boundaries
• Down-to-earth, practical, grounded
• Loves to dance
• Has goals and is actively pursuing them

So, I am not sure if I have blogged about this before, but for the past few weeks, I have been gearing up to buy a car.  And today, I started that process.

Although I have been browsing craigslist for months, I started the real research process in earnest a week or two ago. I looked at the consumer reports ratings. I looked at the EPA fuel efficiency ratings. I looked at Kelly Blue Book. I read reviews. I made a spread sheet. When I research something, I do not fuck around.  So I came up with some criteria that a car had to meet, and a list of models that were likely prospects. It had to be within my price range, which was under about $8,000. It had to be made in the 2000's, not the nineties, or earlier. It had to have less than 150K miles on it.  It had to get at least 25 mpg combined. Had to have a clear title (not a salvage). And it had to at least a little cute, and not red and not an ugly color.


( Read more... )

1. I don't really have all that much to report for tonight's edition of "Notes". Not that I usually do, or that that usually stops me. Just warning you that this one may be even more boring than usual.


( Read more... )

I just wanted to quickly document my experience at the Aveda place today.  I went in for a facial and a haircut, and overall, it was a very positive experience, especially considering the price.

I had never had a facial before, and I was pretty leery, because my skin is so sensitive.  But it turned out okay, and nothing they put on me caused a negative reaction. I was under the impression that a facial is focused mainly on one's face... so I was a bit surprised when my esthetician-in-training told me to get undressed and put on this sort of terry-cloth sarong wrap thing.  I did that, and then sat on the edge of the table while she washed my feet in a big bowl of hot scented water. Very nice.  Then I lay down on the table, and she wrapped me up in a sheet and a blanket, and got to work on my face. I don't totally remember everything that was done, because I got into a sort of half-asleep state while I was laying there. I know there was some cleansing and some moisturizing. And a supervisor was called in to consult on what my esti. was planning for me. The both looked at my skin under a very bright light. The told me I have some visible blood vessels in my cheeks, which I knew, and suggested I may have a very mild form of roseacea, which I had suspected. So then they did this peel, and then a mask. Which basically just felt like they were rubbing different types of goo on my face. But in between, and while they were on my face, she massaged my feet, hands, and neck and shoulders, which was quite nice. And used the aveda products that smelled really good.

My one complaint is that the "fruit peel" or whatever it was was a $20 add-on. My esti. told me this, and asked if that was alright, and I said yes. Then she consulted her supervisor, and came back and told me it would be comp'ed, along with my facial. The facial was a free gift for going in to meet with the admissions rep. But then when I was checking out and being rang up at the end, they charged me for it. Which is not that big a deal, since I was already willing to pay for it. But just a little annoying that the total ended up being more than I expected and I had to work it out.

The facial experience was pleasant, and I received good service, but I don't really feel like my skin looks or feels much different than it did when I walked in. I guess maybe I am just lucky and don't really need facials because my skin is pretty good (not much acne, etc.) and I take good care of it.  Now that I know what they are, I probably won't be paying for a facial any time soon.

So then I went up to another floor for my haircut.  My student stylist was a very nice young lady. I showed her the photos on my pinterest board on my ipod (viva la technology!) and she was supportive of the idea and said it was no problem and a good choice for my hair and my face.  She did the whole aveda "scent experience" or whatever it's called, where she let me pick a scented oil, and then used it to massage my scalp, which was very nice.  Then we washed my hair with the good-smelling aveda shampoo and conditioner. Then she got to work on the cutting. I appreciated that we talked, but she was not afraid to let there be long pauses in the conversation. I dislike it when a stylist wants to chatter the whole time.  In the end, it was not 100% exactly what I wanted, but it looks pretty good. It's not really that different than how it was before, but it's more "textured". We'll see how it looks when I have to try to blow-dry and style it myself, as I am kind of a spazz with the blow dryer, and can't ever get my hair to look as good myself as when a professional does it.  I was also expecting it to take a really long time, but it didn't really take much longer than a normal haircut. I think my appointment was at 4:15, and I think I was done around 5:30. So that's a bit long for a haircut, but I have certainly had cuts that took that long in salons.

The haircut was only $19, and I feel that it was as good, or better than the cuts I have gotten at salons. Of course, I can only really vouch for the student who did my hair (her name is Jessi) but I would go back.

The do do this kind of obnoxious thing where the stylist takes the elevator down to the lobby area and picks up a basket and pulls all the products they used on you and puts them into the basket and takes it to the front desk with you before saying goodbye. I suppose that would be helpful if you wanted to buy all the products they used on you, but I found it a bit pushy.  You then have to tell the receptionist lady you don't want to buy any of it. Which they probably hear a lot. Because, well, if you are getting a $19 haircut, chances are you are too frugal, or too broke, to buy their $24 hair product. After I left, I went to Walgreens and bought a similar product to the aveda stuff she used on my hair. It doesn't smell as good, but it was $6.

So that is my Aveda student salon story. Overall, I give them a B+/A-. It was not completely perfect and stellar, but overall it was a very nice time, and I am glad I have found a place where I can go get a decent $19 haircut. I would consider their $12 "revitalizing eye treatment" too. Because sometimes I want to splurge and treat myself and feel sassy, but I usually don't want to spend a ton of money.

1. Happy May Day! Here in my fine city, we are celebrating this auspicious occasion by occupying something and flying helicopters. Earlier this evening KQED news reported 3 to 5 thousand protesters, and 9 arrests.  More recent reports indicate clashes between police and protesters.  As with the protests last year, this is close enough to where I live that I consider it to be in my neighborhood, but it's about a mile away, on the other side of a lake, so I don't really feel personally threatened.  I can hear helicopters right now though.

2. Good news:  I finally found a place, possibly more than one, to extern.  It's got the ridiculous name of "Oasis Pamper Bar" but it's in Emeryville, and I am not in a position to be picky.  A couple of other places have also responded to my latest blast of emails, so I might have the opportunity to extern at more than one place, and a couple of them seem like they might be job prospects, if they don't suck. But, unfortunately, one is in Fremont, one is in San Mateo, and one is in Albany.  The place in Fremont looks awesome... except for their really crappy yelp reviews.  Albany is scooterable, it would just take a long time, but I don't know how I would get to San Mateo, except for taking BART to Millbrae and then taking Caltrain, which would take an eternity.  Not having a car is really starting to feel like a problem, as I feel like I might miss out on opportunities just by not being able to get places easily. I know I already miss social opportunities because of transportation (i.e. I decline invitations if getting to whatever it is is too much of a pain in the ass) but I can accept that, as social life is not my top priority right now. But I am very leery of going into more debt, so I don't want to finance a car, and I certainly don't have the money to buy one outright right now.  And I am probably just being a whiny first-worlder, as almost everywhere is accessible via some sort of public transit.  It just takes more time.

3. Today in class, we took the DiSC test, which is one of those personality-behavior tests that classifies people into types, and then tells you about yourself and how different types interact.  I scored highest in C, conscientiousness, and almost as high in S, steadiness, and really low in i, influence and D, dominance.  I found the whole thing interesting, but only give it slightly more weight than I would a good horoscope.  What I read about myself was fairly accurate and not very surprising. It was interesting to see which of my classmates scored as which type, and that also seemed fairly accurate, based on my impressions of them.

4. Some of my classmates have really been getting on my nerves lately.  It really tests my Buddhist ideals.  I want to be non-judgmental and forgiving. But some of those kids are making it hard. It's things like, coming in late, sometimes half-an-hour to an hour late. Then the teacher has to catch them up on what we're doing. Talking and texting during lectures. Having to be prompted and reminded and reprimanded by the teachers. Not paying attention during the bodywork demonstrations, which is distracting. I swear to god, this girl in my DiSC discussion group today was high. I can't be sure, but I have been around my fair share of high people, and I'm pretty sure she was baked. I don't know if my teacher doesn't notice, or is just ignoring it. The teachers in general there are pretty mild when it comes to any kind of discipline or classroom management. 

I think the classes should be organized in a hierarchy of levels, wherein one needs to pass the easier ones to move up to the harder ones. This would allow those who are motivated and dedicated to move past those who aren't, and then the slackers wouldn't be clogging up my class time.  The way it's set up now, you get put into a group with whomever signs up at the same time you did, and then that same group moves through the whole program together. If someone fails a test, they just continue with the group and take it over outside of class. I know that's very sensitive, and that way no one has to suffer the humiliation of being "held back" when others advance, but... shame is a great motivator.  I just don't understand why my classmates don't feel the pressure I do not to suck. I show up and pay attention because I want to graduate feeling confident that I have skillz and know what I'm doing. I guess that's because I am conscientious and they aren't. That test said so.

5. Speaking of how smart I am, in the past two days I have accidentally sliced up my right thumb by picking up a cheese grater unwisely, and also spilled a tray of cracker crumbs in my bed. Yes, sometimes I literally eat crackers in my bed. Genius. Right here.

6. Tomorrow, I am going to the Cinta Aveda Institute to let some beauty school students experiment on me. I am getting a facial (first ever) and a haircut. I fear the facial, because my skin is so sensitive. I am convinced they are going to put something on it that is going to sting and make me turn red. But I'm going to do it anyway and hope for the best. Then I am going to let them cut my hairs. I am going armed with photos this time (http://pinterest.com/pirategrrl25/haircutz/) if it goes well, I will have a chic new haircut for my very serious and important new business image (harhar) and/or upcoming job interviews. If it goes poorly, well, it'll grow back right?

7. OMG, I had to do the most disgusting worm compost maintenance last weekend. You see, the drainage holes in the bottom of the bin had become clogged with...decomposing matter. Which meant that the bin was not draining, and fluid was collecting in the bottom. This fluid was totally disgusting. It smelled horrible. So I had to take the bin to the side of the building, where no one ever goes, but where there is a hose, for some reason. I washed off the outer bin that the worm bin sits in, that had gotten hella gross. Then I took a screwdriver, tilted the worm bin to one side, and jammed it into the holes in the bottom to clear them out. Then I let the disgusting fluid drain out onto these poor, god-forsaken plants beside the building. Then I put it all back together in it's spot outside my door. So now, it stinks less when I open it, it will be healthier for my worms. Hopefully I won't have to do that again for another year.

8. I have started to dip another tentative toe into the world of OK Cupid. This dude sent me a message that was half-way coherent, and he's sorta cute, so I replied. He's Mr. Burning Man, part of a large theme camp, etc. Unfortunately, he's about to leave for a trip, but we might meet when he gets back. So, there's that. There definitely seems to be a type that OKC thinks is a good match for me, because most of my high-match percentage dudes seem kind of similar... at least superficially, as much as can be gleened from an OKC profile. They are all kind of early-thirties artsy types (a lot of musicans) who have dogs and are really into their bikes. Quite a few guys with beards.  A lot of them have the requisite photos of themselves in either exotic locales (including Burning Man) or else engaged in some sort of sporty outdoor activity, like on a mountain peak, or in a kayak or clinging to a rock wall or surfing or something.  Although the sporty outdoor photo is probably better than the "look how crazy and fun I am!" photo of them at a party in a goofy costume. 

Man, now I feel like a bitch for taking the piss out of all those poor guys who just want to meet a nice girl. Someday someone will say snotty things about my OKC profile and it will be karmic payback.

Although I did receive an OKC message recently that said "Yo baby, let me bust a nut in that red hair of yours ;)"  I am not even kidding. That's exactly what it said, I just cut and pasted it.  I know a message from one douchebag doesn't give me license to talk shit about every single other dude on there... but I guess my point is that the internet is a dangerous place, and if I am going to get shit like that sent to me, I don't think anyone should get totally butt-hurt about me talking shit about dudes and their stupid bikes.

The End.